It is with the heaviest of hearts that I recount the story of what should have been a dull yet positive morning. I went to bed last night positively shook by the shooting of Alton Sterling and awoke this morning with the intention of finding out what had unfolded overnight. I awoke expecting that, at the most, I would be greeted by frustrated tweets, heartbroken mourners and the usual racist bigots.
I awoke at 9am and stood in my bedroom crying.
I cried out of frustration, out of anger at both the situation and my inability to comprehend it.
I cried as I watched the video that Philando Castile’s girlfriend took as he bled out in the car in front of their four year old daughter.
I cried at the fact that Castile had told the officer that he had a gun, more than likely out of fear of what would happen if he didn’t. Imagine fearing the absolute worst, doing everything in your power to prevent it and it still happening.
I cried reading that “the FBI is investigating these incidents” knowing full well they’ll be swept under the carpet immediately, washed from social media almost instantly, pain and fear remaining only with those directly affected and those worried about being next.
It is so painful knowing that this video exists and that this should be a good thing but really knowing that it doesn’t mean a thing. In a day and age where we have access to more evidence than ever before, damning evidence with little room for confusion, there are black men being shot on camera and broadcast to the world like the recording of a cruel elitist sport.
Video after video emerges of multiple armed officers on one kid and we’re supposed to buy the excuse that they feared for their lives? That while they had Sterling pinned to the ground they didn’t feel like they had the situation under control? That even after the first two shots they were still the vulnerable ones?
I hope with all I have that people stay angry, stay frustrated and stay questioning so that this time we do not forget why we shed tears in the first place.
Much love to anyone reading. ❤
Please feel free to always message or tweet me: @Samantha_Events.